The Middle School Basketball Player Turned Cheerleader
/Written By: Holly Enowski, The Letter Project Brand Curator
When posed this question, I immediately became uncomfortable. Younger me was not cute, nor did she have a clue what she was doing. In fact, 5th grade me was picked on because she was taller than all her classmates, was student body president, and had a chronic inability to brush her hair. The apex of beauty that I was had big black-framed rectangular glasses (before they were cool) and bright braces with color-coordinated bright rubber bands. I wore a sweater vest (a sweater! vest! - mom, how could you do this to me?) and a skirt for my school district-wide speech on Veteran’s Day that landed on the front page of the newspaper. All in all, not a cutie girl and that’s just the truth.
When I got into middle school, I remember being “not enough” for everyone in every social circle. A “friend” turned to me in the cafeteria one day and said “do you want to know the truth — you’re not even good at basketball and you only do cheerleading because you’re also bad at basketball” as she turned and said nothing else the rest of the lunch period. I was an oddball — I played basketball and was a cheerleader at the same time, which meant (a) a busy schedule and (b) lots of outfit changes on game night. I enjoyed it and it was a fun season in life, but her words stung and the weight of them carried well into high school when I ultimately dropped both activities.
In middle school, I wish I would’ve taken to heart the sentiment that you would be surprised at who is watching your journey and being inspired by it. The number of younger girls and older girls who sent me messages about how “cool” it was that I didn’t pick one sport over the other is in the dozens - but, I let one mean comment cloud any positive feedback I was receiving. The 5th grade me wore a sweater vest and skirt because (a) my mother made me or I didn’t know how to match clothes — both likely true, and (b), more importantly, I had bigger things to do than worry about my outfit for the day. Middle school Holly wanted to make a difference — whether that meant starting a clothing closet at school, working with friends to create a resource guide for incoming 7th graders, or inspiring one girl to try a sport she wasn’t good at — and that resounding theme was my foundation to stay true to me in times of defeat, competition, and mean girls.
There will always be people who don’t like you, but for some reason, it’s harder to navigate when it’s other girls. Now that I’m older, I see so much that our anger, hurt, and frustrations hurled at each other are projections of our own insecurities, unworked issues, and built-up emotions. I wish I would’ve known that it’s not you - and had the inner confidence to walk on. God calls us to love one another in kindness and forgiveness, not to hold grudges, to have ill-intentions, or to be mean in return. Middle school is KILLER for character development (say that again!) - trust me when I say you’re more than what people say about you, you’re more than your accomplishments, and the ways in which you handle yourself with kindness and grace are inspiring someone else to do the same.
Middle school is much different now than it was for me — even though it was only 5-6 years ago for me. With the popularity of social media, clothing trends, and other influences, I challenge middle school gals to remember their influence. Likes, views, trends, and the words of people will fade - but your influence will not. You're worthy of so much more than what others may say. You’ve got this!
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