What I Wish I Would've Known

Written By: Kimberly Crickette

Today I’m sharing a few things I wish I knew when I was younger. The lessons I have since learned are ones that I try to share with my younger sister in order to make her journey in this world a little less tumultuous. My hope in sharing these is that a few of my words resonate with someone else, even if the only idea you come away with is that the struggles you are wading through now may one day be lessons you no longer associate with fear or panic, but with tenderness and a new perspective. 

You always have a choice. 

When life feels heavy or stagnant, you can (and should!) reflect on which areas in your life you can make changes. It’s never too late to make those changes to mold a life that makes your soul feel bright, deeply alive, and full of purpose. This life is yours; don’t let pressure from others keep you from decisions that feel good and right to you. The people who love you will be supportive of you making the best decisions for your wellbeing. For me personally, this has looked like transitioning to a new career path, choosing different housing arrangements, and dedicating more time to hobbies that fill my emotional bucket.

Your feelings aren't tsunamis. 

I have often felt like there was something wrong with me because I was so sensitive. And I’ll be the first to admit that at times, emotions can be terrifying. They might feel like they'll wipe you out and keep you down, but they won't. Instead of ignoring an unpleasant emotion or pushing it down (because that’s just a surefire way to ensure the emotion will keep bouncing to the surface), I've learned that the best way through is to recognize and welcome those emotions the way you would a visitor. Often, intense emotions are indicators of areas in our life that require additional attention. 

However, if you’re feeling unlike yourself, talking to a doctor or a therapist is never a bad idea. There's no shame in caring for your brain the same way you would care for your body. Trust your gut. 

You will find your people, I promise. 

I remember so many variations of this worry - whether or not I would meet true friends I would walk through life with, whether or not I would find a loving partner, whether I would always feel that I cared more than others in relationships and friendships...etc. Eventually, I figured out that when I showed up from a place of authenticity and vulnerability, I felt good in my own skin, and it showed. The right people gravitated towards me, and I thank God for them every day for the way they show me that they appreciate and love me.

Nurturing your inner child can help you feel safer during moments of uncertainty or anxiety. 

It’s taken me a while to get comfortable with the idea of “downtime”, but over the years my narrative around self-care has radically changed. It is neither lazy nor unproductive; rather, it is essential to finding peace in our hectic world. I can always tell when I have been neglecting self-care because my anxiety always ramps up. Some ways that I nurture my inner child are by doing art (I’m particularly drawn to simple pen drawings right now), spending quality quiet time reading on the couch beside loved ones, writing with a candle nearby, and HUGS. 

For The Letter Project.

Kimberly Crickette