Power of a Pen Pal

Written By: Nichelle Bevo

I was an introvert growing up. I found solace in my imaginary friend and the television shows I would regularly watch such as, “Good Times”, “The Brady Bunch”, “Zoom” and Saturday morning cartoons. One particular show stood out was the “Big Blue Marble”, a PBS show. This show marked a lifelong adventure that yielded a best friend and got me out of my shell.

The “Big Blue Marble” had a segment at the end which advertised their Pen Pal program. I decided to write in and request a pen pal. I actually received three pen pals to write to, one from Nebraska and the other one lived abroad. The third pen pal lived in New York. The other two pen pals I corresponded with was brief and short-lived, but the pen pal from New York lasted longer. I grew up in a generation where letters and phone calls were the main sources of communicating. We started writing in the 70’s, one of the first photos I received from her was dated 8/3/79 when she lived in Brooklyn, New York and I lived in Sacramento, California. We exchanged photos and wrote about our daily lives and what we did for fun in our respective communities. We wrote through the turbulent teen years, young adulthood, marriages, first-born children (we both have one adult child around the same age), ups and downs of life as well forming a close bond over the years. I made an effort to keep in contact, write her often, and call on holidays. There were moments in our communication where it wasn’t frequent but I kept her close to my heart. I secretly prided myself in maintaining this relationship for as long as I did. The only thing I have held on to for this long. We often talked of meeting one another since we both have never visited each other respective coasts. It never happened but we still wrote and as we got older the phone calls became more frequent. It takes commitment and love to commit to one thing for a long period of time and the rewards of getting to know her over the years have been comforting and enlightening.

Decades went by and the shape of communicating was changing, text messages, instant messenger, MySpace, Facebook were taking over and our communicating evolved with the times. We still wrote but not as often, phone calls took over then texting then slowly becoming Facebook friends and then following each other on Instagram. A new world opened up to communicate and share our lives in a broader way. It strengthened our bond and I believe it made us closer. Fast forward to 2017 we were calling and texting more than usual and discussing meeting up. At first, it was her coming to California and then that didn’t work out and in August we began talking about seeing each other and actually meeting one another. We decided on a date and I flew to New York, my first time to the Big Apple! Upon seeing her my heart was full and tears welled up. We spent the next seven days conversing, laughing till tears rolled down our cheeks, drinking Margaritas, getting matching tattoos representing our individual coasts and exploring Florida, New York and Manhattan. It was a dream come true!

I realized the power of female friends is a magnificent thing. She has picked me up when I’m down through text messages and phone calls, always being transparent, honest, and loving. I value the power of the written word and how it brings people together from all walks of life. A letter sent back in the 70’s transformed into a beautiful, loving friendship! Since I have been back from my visit we have talked weekly via phone calls and text messages. I believe now, more than ever, that the female bond needs to be of importance to us, to lift each other up, to show up, be present, and most importantly show love to one another. I am thankful and grateful for my pen pal, who has loved me unconditionally and shown me what being a friend is all about.